Post by LittleFish on Nov 16, 2011 19:34:05 GMT -5
Hello?
Is anyone there?
If you are,
I need help.
And I need it bad.
Have you ever felt as if you don't know who you are? Like you
have no soul, as if your becoming dark. You have no feelings,
and really don't care about what happens to others. If you
have, please, tell me how to stop, to go back to how I used to
be! I don't like what I've become, it scares me, I scare me. I don't
want to be alone anymore, I don't like to be alone. I need to feel
something. I have no soul! The lights are on, but nobody's home.
Maybe...if you knock loud enough...I'll answer. I want to, really I
do, and somewhere deep inside this golden shell my soul is lurking.
Can you help me break it loose?
One would think that a land as plentiful and beautiful as this
one that I placed my hooves upon would be riddled with
equines. But no... I am the only soul in sight. Well, I'm the only
body in sight that is. I can't complain, I usually don't play nice
with others. And it just ends up hurting me in the end. So, to
keep from losing my mind, or what was left of it, as I aimlessly
wander this land, I buried my thoughts in the past. A better
brighter side. Back to when I still had a soul to my name.
I started to feel my soul slip away from me when my father fell in
battle, and never returned to his hooves. I was chased away
from my mothers side by the new leader of the herd, never to
place my eyes upon her again. I was just starting to eat solid
foliage with the ivories that had formed in my mouth. A solid
seven months I was, and gushing with muscle. Now I am but a
shadow of my former self, even if I have gotten taller and grown
into my ears and legs, I am still small and lean. After being
brutally driven away from the only home I knew of. I went in
search of a new one. Yet, every time I came across another
equine, I was cut down, laughed at, even by the mares and
foals. And each time, it seemed like it would hurt less, but now I
realize that it was a little but of my soul flying away, leaving me
with less and less feeling. I eventually became bitter and angry
at these equines. How could they do that to me? They had no
clue as to what I had been through, nor what they were doing to
me. I wanted others to be like me, to feel what I felt, to suffer just
like me.
I began to think of ways that I could cut these equines down. I
was not the strongest, so fighting was not an option. So I
started to use my tongue and my wits. I would make casual
comments that would embed into them, driving them crazy. I
would hit their weak spots, a bum leg, ripped off tail, blind eye,
no mares, infertility, mates cheating on them, young ones taken
away from them. I had a thing for them all. Then after I was my
piece, I would run, run like the wind. I soon figured that if I made
them smart enough they would sit and think them over before
they would figure out what I had really said. That would give me
time to get well away from there. I would hit and run.
No, I did not always used to be like this. I used to have feelings,
and want to help others, I was the heir to my fathers small herd
of equines. Sure, my father had plenty of other sons to chose
from, older, smarter, stronger ones. But no, he chose me. Me
with my bright golden pelt with my alabaster appendages, skull,
banner and whipcord, I was different. There was something that
set me apart from others my father would whisper to me on
many of our long walks together. He said the moment he set
eyes on me, her knew I was the one. A born leader, was what
he called me. Back then I was plenty bouncy, yet I had a level skull
balanced upon my neck. I could keep my cool about me in
stressful situations, and could act quick. I used to lead the little
herd of foals, and for some reason, they all looked up to me,
even the older ones. It was almost as if that was where I
belonged. I would lead them in adventures to the other side of
my fathers realm, keeping them in order. There was one time
when we were being chased by a crazed wolf, it was young and
starving, willing to take on seven or so foals. A little filly fell
behind, not able to keep pace with the older colts, I stopped and
charged at that beast, not caring that I could have been killed.
Then I would gladly put my life in danger to save another. Now,
I could walk away with out a second look over my golden
shoulder, and I hate myself for it.
A gust of wind whistles past, startling me out of the past. It was
a good thing too, the past was a bad place to dwell, but right
now I couldn't face the truth that was staring me right in the
eyes, and that was that I wasn't the same. And it was bad. I
missed the old me.
Placing my hooves forward into the rich
lushes grass I trudged on forward, on my journey to search for
my soul.
Word Count: Roughly 980
Muse: Low, recycled post
Other: Just getting back RPGs after 3 years, lol. He is a fun character tho.
